So…all of us moms have been to that place before. You know! That place you go to in your head when your kids get on your nerves. They just aren’t cooperating and seem to be rebelling. Or the toddler is going through the tantrum phase and won’t stop crying. That’s when you might think, “Could someone please come and get them?” Or better yet, “Would someone come and get me?!” How we respond in those stressful moments is crucial, because your little ones are paying attention to every minute detail of your actions. So what do you do?
Well, I’ll be honest and say that I am a recovering yeller. I know. I know! My kids respond negatively to the yelling, and it’s a habit that I’ve been working to phase out. But believe it or not, I was worse early on. I was a big kid! You guys, I would scowl, pout, and have a dignified fit because things were not going the way that I intended. I had this idea in my head that my kids and my husband were suppose to behave and react in particular ways, and when it didn’t happen…BOOM! Tantrum.
I was looking at my daughter as she got upset one day. Her body language looked strangely familiar, and as I continued to watch her it dawned on me. She’s acting like me! So I consciously watched myself and stopped behaving like a two year old. Now I am trying to stop yelling all together.
When trying to change a behavior, I take it one day at a time and try to stay aware of what it is I’m trying to improve upon. In this instance, I don’t want my children to yell at one another or at others every time that they get upset. So here are some ideas that may help to diffuse the anger bomb:
1. Start each day with prayer or meditation. This helps if you begin with consciously putting what you are trying to achieve at the forefront of your thoughts.
2. Ask for help. My oldest child knows that mom is trying to change her behavior, so he gently reminds me of my goal if I’m not exhibiting good manners.
3. Post it! Written reminders help those who are both hands-on and visual. It will help the hands on learner if you journal about your progress on a regular basis. If you are a visual learner, you should place sticky notes in a place that you frequent.
Making moves to purposely be mindful of your actions should help with your productivity and help you be a better example under the microscope.