This Bittersweet Chapter

I know that I keep coming up MIA, and you were probably looking for new content like, “Oh, here she goes again!” I’m like Houdini and I disappear, then reappear from out of nowhere. In all seriousness, I just finished going through my most difficult pregnancy and delivery of my life. Not difficult as in overnight hospital stays, trying to stop pre-term labor, or prescribed bed rest. Difficult as in the most uncomfortable in almost any way that you could think. Heartburn for no reason, his head feeling as though it was between my legs anytime that I went shopping in the last trimester, my body not stretching to make room for him, or varicose veins popping out and burning in my legs. Not to mention that baby boy ended up in NICU because he just went limp upon delivery, and equipment stopped working while they were operating on me. Then I also had to come to grips with the fact that my doctor told me that I needed to choose a permanent form of contraceptive if I didn’t want to risk possibility of dying on the table. (Gasping for air!) See! It was a lot.

So I have had all five of my children via cesarean. Every time after the second one, I have leaned on the advice of my obstetrician about how my body was holding up. From baby 1 to 4 I had minimal scar tissue and he said that I was holding up nicely, but he asked if I wanted to consider tying my tubes after baby 4. I had said yes, but changed my mind about it right before my delivery. So when I had my postpartum check up, he suggested birth control. I didn’t take any prescribed contraceptives, but my husband and I had other forms (Plural, mind you) that we would use. Well…those obviously didn’t hold up. So when the O.B. confirmed the pregnancy, he started strongly suggesting sterilization. Whether it be me or my husband, he said that I was risking the placenta implanting in an inconvenient place, scar tissue adhering to my organs, and/or needing a blood transfusion for extreme blood loss. Now I already have an extreme nervousness when I go in for my sections of not coming out, so I took his advice within a few weeks of strongly thinking it over.

Now to place the icing on the pregnancy cake! When I went to have my scheduled delivery, things were not as they normally had been. The baby and I ended up getting transported to another hospital, I didn’t sleep but 2 to 3 hours at time, (about 5 hours a day max) I was constantly having to stay on top of things with the baby because the phone in my room didn’t work making it to wear they “couldn’t contact me”, and the list goes on. So I was tired when I arrived home when I’m used to having had some R&R at the hospital, and haven’t really had a full nights sleep even now.

So now that I’ve caught you up most of the way, you can somewhat see why I have been ghost. So please excuse me as I try to readjust to life, recoil from surgery, start a small garden, continue to homeschool, tend to a clingy baby, and care for the needs of the other five people in my home as well as myself. I’ve had a trying end of 2018 and hope to have a wonderful start on this roller coaster in 2019. Happy new year to you all, and until next time…


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